You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
then he tried to convert me to islam
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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