Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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