They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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