i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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