I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
