it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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