I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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