I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize