Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize