so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
