your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
