Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize