Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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