kristin has been a bad kristin
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
