you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
