Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
