rhymes with "ouble enetration"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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