Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
