I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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