Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dick very happy bro
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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