i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
