it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
