real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
