Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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