Its about making memories worth repressing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Randomize
