where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize