I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
