I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
