Porn is love you can see.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
