come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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