omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
