he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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