I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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