I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
