I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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