Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
