I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
