did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
