is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
