Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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