They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
