If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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