kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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