i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
