Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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