Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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