Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
