Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Me too!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
