5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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