it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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