4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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