I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
