please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
