oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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