Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
